


Salty Tears

by valafatoren



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Gen, post qoaad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 03:46:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15699498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valafatoren/pseuds/valafatoren
Summary: Emma goes for a run along the beach to work out some feelings.





	Salty Tears

 

The ocean was a creature to be feared, not loved, Emma knew. She regarded the blue expanse with a healthy amount of trepidation before sighing and clambering down the rocks.

Inhaling the salty air, she set down her towel and water bottle at the base of the cliffs and set off on a light jog along the shore. Her bare feet sunk into the sand and she clenched her toes agreeably, and let out a shaky breath.

It felt good to get out of the house, away from all those conflicting emotions, away from the red-rimmed eyes and the silences that said all too much.

She let herself be lost in the easy rhythm, her arms and legs running to the beat of a song she couldn’t hear. _Ba-thump_. But no matter how far she ran, there were still some things she could never escape. Emma increased her speed anyway. It felt good to try, to pretend at least she could do something.

The air was cool, and she felt her breath catch a few times but continued the same long strides. _Left, right, left, right._ Some bird called above her, but Emma didn’t look up. She wasn’t sure how far she had gone now – the landscape had blurred into one unending stretch of sand and water, and when she was running like this, time didn’t seem to matter too. She was empty – a hollow puppet that kept skidding across the room after the owner had tossed it to the floor.

Emma kept running, not pausing to take a break even when her body began to protest. Her legs burned and her eyes were glassy, unfocused, but she wasn’t sure if the blur was from tears or due to the harsh wind whipping in her face. The next breath she took was hoarse, a gasp timed with the crash of the wave on the shore.

Her knees suddenly buckled, and she fell down, hands slamming onto the sand and clenching involuntarily. Her body convulsed and she vomited, the sting of acid running up her throat as she coughed and spluttered, bile steaming on the sand. Her body wracked again, and she let out a harsh, guttural noise, somewhere between a choke and a moan.

Finally her chest slowed its heaving and Emma ran a sweaty arm over her mouth, pulling back her hair slowly and wiping it in vain. Her throat stung, and she wasn’t sure if she could stand up, so she simply remained there, inhaling and exhaling with her broken body. She noticed dimly that she was crying, but wasn’t sure if the tears had always been there or if they had just come. Her eyes clenched shut, and she hugged her knees to her chest.

She heard a dim crash in the distance, and then the ocean was around her, a cold sting to her shivering body before it fell away again, carrying with it the tears and the vomit and all of the hopelessness.

She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, staring out into the distance. Perhaps the ocean couldn’t be loved, but there was a fierce sort of respect that it demanded, a complete indifference and power that both overwhelmed and comforted. The ocean didn’t let anything get in its way – it didn’t care about her troubles – they were nothing to its endless routine and that stark reality awoke something in her. Perhaps it was all a figment of her imagination, but in that moment there, covered in sweat, tears and vomit, she felt more connected to the world than she had in a long time.

_There’s so much more than all of this,_ Emma thought, and it was a rather terrifying notion to confront. Her lip wobbled, but she stood up, brushing herself off. Perhaps it wasn’t the end of the world. The ocean continued to move, and so could she.

Emma let out a shaky breath, and closed her eyes for a brief moment, feeling the water as it lapped around her ankles. When she opened them again, they were clear and bright. She sighed with the ocean, and let her breathing slowly return to normal.

At last, Emma turned to face the direction she had come from. Lips tilting in a small smile, she set off on a jog. There was still a long way to go, but at least now she was moving.

 


End file.
